Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV) 

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Eisegesis: 

When a child is raised in the Lord, he or she will never separate from the faith.

Exegesis:   

The purpose of this verse isn’t to promise or guarantee that a child will never depart from the faith, but rather to teach of the cause and effect of parental guidance and wisdom.

Some have interpreted this verse as a guarantee that children raised in Christian homes will remain Christians. Conversely, many parents often blame themselves when their children turn away from God.

It is true that children often carry forward the values they are taught, and that parents are important in the upbringing of their children, but it does not guarantee salvation to everyone. Individuals are held responsible for their decisions regarding Christ.

Background

The book of Proverbs is a collection of wise sayings and general truths that provide guidance on living righteously and prudently. These are not promises or guarantees, but general observations about life.

In this well-known proverb, several important considerations are raised. Firstly, to train up (or “dedicate”) a child means to start him or her off on a path of discipline and perhaps even religion.

The proverb describes the common experiences of God’s people over the centuries. In most cases, a child whose parents dedicate him to the right path and train him carefully will remain in that path throughout his life.

This proverb acknowledges that children are not mechanically programmed and are capable of making their own decisions, and it does not suggest that parents can control every outcome or compel divine intervention in their favor. Instead, it emphasizes the responsibility of parents to guide their children wisely, while recognizing that outcomes may be influenced by factors beyond their control.

Unfortunately the parents of prodigal children often suffer untold pain thanks to the standard interpretation of this verse, which is that proper upbringing ensures a child will follow his parents’ faith and never waver.

Parents who misinterpret this proverb often blame themselves if their children rebel. They reason that if proper parenting results in godly children, then rebellious children must be the result of inadequate parenting. While poor parenting can certainly contribute to negative outcomes, this is not always the case.

Consider God’s relationship with the nation of Israel. As the perfect “parent,” God provided for them, guided them with His law, and sent prophets to correct and teach them. Yet, despite His flawless care, Israel repeatedly chose to rebel. Similarly, just as God’s love for Israel did not take away their ability to rebel, no parent can hinder a child’s free will. This demonstrates that even with perfect guidance, individuals still have the ability to make their own choices.

Parents of prodigals face painful, tragic challenges and we only add to their burden when our careless handling of Scripture provokes them to blame themselves for their children’s sin.